Agency Fee: You Are What You Eat

April 27, 2015

Agency Fee: You Are What You Eat. AFSCME wants us to know that “sometimes complex court rulings can best be understood with the simplest of explanations.” So the union created a 90-second cartoon “that uses the analogy of friends going to dinner to puncture the logic of a new court challenge to ‘fair share’ fees.”

Take a look.

Oh, that’s simple all right.

I love it when unions go into the animation business, and I do like the restaurant analogy, but I’m afraid AFSCME didn’t get the fable exactly right. Let’s send it to rewrite, and add in the actual aspects of agency fee that give some people agita.

Before you were born, a group of people voted about where you would eat. You don’t get to pick between Sizzler and Applebee’s. You either go to the Union Restaurant that has been chosen for you or you don’t eat at all.

When you explain that you don’t want to go the Union Restaurant, you are told how great the Union Restaurant is, about the wonderful food it has, and how important it is to support the Union Restaurant because the Evil Corporate Restaurant Chain is trying to undermine it by offering good food at prices people can afford.

At the Union Restaurant, you don’t get to order from the menu. The approved meal is placed in front of you. It’s liver. You don’t like liver. When you mention this, you receive a lecture on how great liver is. Everyone loves liver. You should eat your liver.

Besides, you are told, we all voted and democratically chose liver for you. “I didn’t get a vote,” you say. Well, that’s simple. It’s because you didn’t leave the customary donation for the butcher or the chef. Only then do you get to vote on the entrée, which will end up being liver, regardless.

If you refuse to eat the liver, and refuse to pay for something you don’t like and didn’t order, you will be called names like “freeloader.” Then they will forcibly take your wallet from you and remove the cash.

Not only do you pay for the meal you don’t want, but you have to chip in to pay for the meals of the people who chose the Union Restaurant and ordered the liver for you. But they’re not eating liver. They’re not at Sizzler or Applebee’s. They’re eating quail at Marché.

This might just explain why 89 percent of American workers don’t eat at the Union Restaurant, and prefer to make their own choices about where to eat, what to eat, and how much to pay for it.

Recent Intercepts. EIA’s daily blog, Intercepts, covered these topics April 21-27:

Common Core vs. Common Knowledge. Vox populi says, “Dunno.”

Listen to Yourself. Reverse field.

WEAC: Our Prices Are Insane!!! How to run a small business in a free market.

Fight the Power. Unfair.

Membership Numbers for Every Oregon Education Association Local. Just nice to know.

Quote of the Week. “Every group has its ideologues, you know, the folks who are very positional and passionate about specific issues. Teachers are no different from any other group in that regard. And I believe that many of the BATs fit into that category concerning the Common Core…. I’m a member and I’m on the national Badass Teacher site and I’m on the California site.  And one of the things that I’ve noticed is that it is often the same people who are posting. And I used to engage them, but it just got too vitriolic. They don’t like differences of opinion, so I stopped doing that.” – Dean Vogel, outgoing president of the California Teachers Association, speaking about the Badass Teachers Association. (April 22 Education Week)