The Bush Administration today ordered employees of the U.S. Department of Education out into the streets to protest an animated cartoon produced by the American Federation of Teachers that criticizes the No Child Left Behind Act.
The peaceful protest soon exploded into violence as edu-bureaucrats called for the lopping off of heads of AFT officials responsible for the cartoon. Wayward employees mistakenly set fire to the NEA cafeteria, thinking it was AFT headquarters. A handful of communists suffered smoke inhalation. Checker Finn’s chicken-and-havarti sandwich was ruined.
The furor erupted when USDOE officials spotted an elephant in the cartoon. Elephants are a symbol of the Republican Party.
“Our party platform prohibits the display of images of elephants in teacher union animated cartoons,” explained a spokesman. “It’s blasphemy!”
Broadcast and cable networks across the country refused to air the offending cartoon, out of fear of boycotts, protests and further violence.
“I don’t see anything in the First Amendment that requires my house getting burned down by Margaret Spellings,” said one CNN broadcast executive. “Just look at her. She’s scary and intimidating.”
The AFT cartoonists picked up critical support from a previously unknown group. Members of Frivolous Union Dues Disbursement (or FUDD) applauded the NCLB cartoon and called for a full-length feature to be funded with union dues. Pat Tornillo, they suggested, is available to direct.