Intercepts
A listening post monitoring public education and teachers’ unions.

The latest from the Manhattan Institute is titled, “Underfunded Teacher Pension Plans: It’s Worse Than You Think.” As USA Today‘s Greg Toppo reports, it makes the case that state teacher retirement systems are collectively just under $1 trillion short of the amount needed to fund their liabilities. It’s an important report, but one which I fear will go unheeded, since Americans have proven time and again their profound disinterest in bills that will come due in the future.

America (and Britain, come to think of it) is legendary for its ability to call forth monumental efforts and achieve extraordinary things once the crisis has hit. But we’re notorious for avoiding common sense measures before the crisis has hit (think Pearl Harbor). Stuart Buck, co-author of the Manhattan Institute report, explains:

The problem with Pennsylvania, as with many other states, is that when times were flush (the late 1990s or the mid-2000s), legislators did not have the foresight to let pension systems accumulate some savings for possible tough times ahead. Instead, they decided to lower contributions to pension systems and/or increase pension benefits, all on the assumption that high stock market returns would magically pay for it all. But when the stock market falls, the pension systems are left with extra liabilities that no one ever paid for, and the risk ultimately rests with the taxpayer.

That’s a lesson that goes back at least as far as Aesop, but we’ve yet to learn it.

1) The New Jersey Education Association death prayer memo. Other than demonstrating that NJEA needs to outsource its comedy writing, I’m not sure why this is all over the New York and New Jersey papers. I read a lot of teacher union memos, and this one is tofu next to the red meat they usually offer up. New Jersey Gov. Christie is no fool, however, and he’ll ride this wave all the way to the shore.

2) The DC teachers contract. Sure, it has some reformy stuff in it, but who didn’t come to a dead stop after reading this paragraph:

“Under a new mutual consent provision that would curtail teachers’ rights to classroom positions based on seniority, no teacher could be placed at a school without the teacher’s and the principal’s agreement. When budget cuts or enrollment declines force school closings, teachers could apply for new jobs at other Washington schools under the mutual consent rule. Teachers whom no school agrees to hire would have three options: a $25,000 buyout, early retirement for those with 20 years of service, or one additional year of employment in an administrative position, before final dismissal.” (emphasis added)

This is like a bad joke. “No one wants you as a teacher; we’ll make you an administrator! Or will you give up your chance at the grand prize and just walk away with $25,000?” Taxpayers, of course, will end up with the blow on the head.

3) Speaking of which, there is a lot of outrage that about 47 percent of American households will pay no federal income taxes at all for 2009. This is a half-empty/half-full situation, in my point of view. While most are complaining about people not contributing to the government coffers, I see it as a small step towards repeal of the 16th Amendment.

Click here to read:

1) Fewer Students, More Teachers, and, Finally, More Attention

2) Scheduling Note

3) Last Week’s Intercepts

4) Quotes of the Week

Nothing like a 72-hour crash course in Internet security to make you appreciate your regular job. The massive malware attack of WordPress blogs appears to have abated (geeks can check out this post for the techno-details of the hack) and all returns to normal. The communiqué will go out as usual later today.

In the meantime, the Sacramento Bee seems to have finally noticed the four-month-old NEA report that shows we spend an awful lot of money on public education.

There’s a wonderful new and sophisticated hack of WordPress databases that is wreaking havoc here at the EIA Operations Center and eating up most of my time. Before you ask, no, it’s not an evil union scheme. The hack has hit a karate school and a fabrication company, to name just two. If you use WordPress, you want to be aware of it because it will take a long time to regain control of your site if you get it.

If you like your propaganda with a slice of cheesecake, check out this PTA video about the California education budget featuring Megan Fox:

When Megan Fox talks about education, I always pay attention. Here’s a bit from an interview she did last summer with CosmoGirl!:

I just hated school, period. I wasn’t interested and I wasn’t getting anything from it. I’ve never been a big believer in formal education and I always knew what I wanted to do, which was be an actress — the education I was getting seemed irrelevant. So, I was sort of checked out on that part of it.

Next week: Scarlett Johansson analyzes California’s failed Race to the Top application! Don’t miss it!

Unlike Goldilocks, there’s never a level of teacher hiring that’s just right.